Potions and Quidditch
by formerlyknownasone
Summary: McGonagall is not amused with Katie Bell...Endless disasters happen in Potions. Oliver Wood gets dragged along somehow.KBOW story finally updated after a gazillion years so Please Read and Review!
1. MacGonagall Spiked the Butterbeer

**Hey guys I received some really positive feedbacks about starting a long story about KBOW so I decided to give it a shot. I hope you will like it. **

**I decided this will be more of a humorous romance thing with lots of extra funny scenes of Katie and Oliver, not any heavy melodrama. Read anyway even if you don't usually dig stuff like this. **

**I solemnly swear that these characters are not mine and they are all up to no good.**

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**Everyone was seated orderly within their Houses Great Hall, excited for another year at Hogwarts. Already the sorting had ended, and tiny squeaky first-years were uncomfortably seated in their newly allocated House dining table, waiting for the Great feast to begin. 

At when it does begin, all hell will _break loose_. Everybody would be acting like scavengers, snatching and grabbing for whichever food they could lay their hands on,as if their life depended on it. Guys will holler, and the girls will scratch each other with their sharp nails, all fighting for that last piece of chicken. Everyone would be an enemy, and this would be war. The war.

Okay, so I am exaggerating just the _slightest _bit, but you get the message.

But right now, all the students all contently seated, busily jabbering away with their friends what they did this summer. Gossips are being traded, and rumours that Snape is gay was viciously spreading. In short, everybody was happy, enjoying themselves. School has not even started yet.

School has not started yet, but already I was in a full blown argument with Oliver Wood, yelling at each other on top of our lungs.

" YOU ALMOST MADE US LATE KATIE! I CAN'T BELIEVE IT!" He was saying. Or yelling.

" HOW IS THIS MY FAULT? AND WE AREN'T EVEN LATE!" This would be me.

" WE ALMOST MISSED THE TRAIN THANKS TO YOU!"

" DID NOT! AND IT'S NOT MY FAULT IN THE FIRST PLACE!"

" It is too! Why did you have to have so many trunks and clothes! Then we had to go and lift every single one of those bloody heavy things up the train, after spending fifteen minutes trying to find trolleys!"

Ooh, don't talk about my clothes_ that _way. Screw you, Oliver.

" Please! They weren't that heavy! We had to wait for you to finish reciting that so-called brilliant play you made up!" I taunted. This was true. He didn't let anyone even move until he was done much, much later.

" It was brilliant! I wasn't the one who was too busy staring at my bloody reflection for ten hours at home before we left for the train station!"Oliver countered, banging the table.

He just thinks he is so smart, doesn't he?

Take this, Oliver Wood.

" Well I wasn't the one was almost in tears just because he couldn't bring his entire broomstick collection and Quidditch shrine back to Hogwarts !" I retaliated hotly.

" Oh yeah? Well I wasn-"

" Okay guys, cool it! The feast is starting soon! We need to make sure we have enough concentration to snatch all those food we wanted." Angelina Johnson, who was sitting at my other side, spoke up, grinning at me, but at the same time I knew she mean what she said. She was probably bloody pissed with the whole conversation (as every sane person would).

This girl may not look it, but she was totally fierce when it comes to food and Hogwarts Feast.

I wonder why.

" How did you guys know so much about each other anyway? How come you two were at each other's house?" George Weasley, one half of the Terrible Twins, asked me. He was sitting two seats to my opposite, just next to his carbon copy Fred. Both of them practically had mischief written in bold on their faces ever since they were born.

. Oliver and I rolled our eyes at each other instantaneously.

" George, how many times must I tell you this? " I said exasperatedly, whacking him on his red head. He shrugged.

" Er, Twenty three times?"

Of course all of us except Fred and him rolled our eyes simultaneously.

"Well, it seems the great Oliver Wood has moved right next to my house," I told him glumly.

This part was unfortunately true. It was only one week ago, but I thought I could_ finally _relax and really take a break from school and those absolutely horrible Quidditch practice I was forced to attend by Oliver. Anyway, I was super glad at that time, trying to sip iced tea while tanning in the sun, enjoying the peace when suddenly there was this really loud noisy racket that came from next door. I looked up from my Witch Weekly and saw mounds of luggages and furniture stacked untidily in the next door garden. Then Oliver had to show up.

He had pretended to look surprised to see me.

Yes,he actually had the _cheek _to pretend to be shocked. He probably knew it all along, because when you are in shock, you don't exactly turn up on my bed at five in the morning the next day to play/demand Quidditch.

Needless, to say, I spent the rest of my summer zooming myself around on a broom with Oliver. There were moments where we were able to have fun and we really bonded, but somehow the pain seems to overtake the enjoyment.

So what do you know? One second I was dying to get away from him, the next second we become _next door neighbours_.

Thank god it was only one week.

Oliver seemed to know what was going through my head that very second, because he looked extremely offended.

" What's wrong with Quidditch?" He asked, frowning.

" Nothing." I said coolly.

" Then what's with the constipated look? I presume its because of the thought of last week with Quidditch?"

Angelina and Alicia have taken to going on about how much Wood and I are squabbling lately. What my two good friends _do not seem to know_ is that Oliver that has serious temper-control issues. When I tried explaining this discovery to them, they simply told me to just give in to Wood because heck, they didn't want to wake up at four in the morning too as punishment. Besides, when he dangles such a tempting bait to tease him how can I not take it?

Of course they had to be completely unsympathetic about my situation.

" Or is it one of those hot looks this season according to Witch Weekly?" he continued. I gritted my teeth.

See. How. Can. I. Not. Argue. With. Him! I'm not going to let him steam-roller me with that comment. I can't.

" For your information, some of us actually prefer to have some sleep rather than stay up obsessing over stupid brooms." I bite back.

I was sure that he was about to shoot back another one of his weak comebacks when suddenly food suddenly magically appeared on the table. Food, as in, _food glorious food_.

I blinked. Rows of roast chicken and potatoes and sumptuous stew filled up the gleaming golden plates.

Spare me from Oliver. The food is more important.

The battle of words between us came to a halt. _It could wait for a while. _

_Because the War for food has finally begun._

Like, I said, I wasn't kidding when I told you hell breaks lose once the feast begins. Everybody was furiously grabbing as much as they could, stuffing their face quickly. Across the room I could hear Draco Malfoy hissed angrily at some scrawny first year who took the last steak. Even _Cedric Diggory_ was currently in the entangled with some poor Hufflepuff girl who refused to let go of the lamb chop. Meow. Cat fight!

Actually, until today, I have absolutely no idea how one simple meal like this could make even the most refined and polite people lose their manners in an almost-indecent manner.

My plate was still empty when I noticed that Fred Weasley was already on his second serving. Angelina was on her third. I glanced around, only to see that everyone else had already piled food as high as mountains on top of their plates. Panic hit me. WHERE WAS ALL THE FOOD???

Wait. My eyes riveted back to the gold plates on the table. There is still one more roast beef. I flung myself towards it, reaching out...

Only to meet Oliver's hand, which was doing the exact same thing.

I glared. I don't care about Angelina's opinion about Oliver's craziness, but no way am I just letting a cute guy off, especially if he is irritating me. _Especially_ if he is Oliver Wood.

" WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM!" We both spat, each refusing to let go of that hankered beef.

Like I said, we really_ bonded _over that one week.

* * *

It takes exactly six hundred and fifty-two steps to move from the Common Room to Professor McGonagall's office. I know, because I counted. 

When you get summoned to the House Head's office, you know something is wrong.

Which is why I refused to touch the Ginger Newts and Butterbeer she offered me seconds ago. What if it has Veritaserum in it? Maybe she wants me to confess about the time Fred broke into the Potions Cupboard. Or that it was George who bewitched the armors to attack the Slytherins.

I mean, seriously think about it. Professor McGonagall offering me Butterbeer? Come on

I was now sitting directly opposite her at her large desk, eyeing the plate of biscuits doubtfully, still not drinking even a sip of Butterbeer. Surely it was not orthodox to force a student with a truth potion? I am pretty sure that there's a Wizard Law restricting the use of Veritaserum somewhere. Section Fifty three, Clause eight or something...

It was in the middle of my thoughts when I heard a 'hem-hem!' cough. Strange. It sounds oddly familiar.

" Is there a reason why you are staring at the biscuits so intently, Miss Bell?"

I looked up, only to see Professor McGonagall staring crossly at me. I must have dazed off for two minutes. Oops.

" No ma'am!" I replied quickly.

"Now that I_ finally_ got your attention," She continued, pushing up her rimmed glasses " I would like to talk to you about your , er, academic performances."

It was my turn to stare rudely at her. What was she talking about? My grades were fine! In fact, better than fine. I'm pretty good too, and scored Outstanding for almost everything! So my marks weren't slipping at all. What on earth then, is she talking about?

" It seems that you have been doing well in your school work. Better than well. Excellent, in fact. Perhaps I could go to the extent of even saying that you could easily be one of the brightest witch in your year."

Damn right she was about that. Brightest witch of the year, damn straight!

Wait.

If that is so, what the hell am I doing here???

"But it has unfortunately come to my attention, as well as your Potions Master's, that you are struggling with Potions. Your Potion grades are dismal and atrocious. Not to mention appalling and absolutely mortifying."

Oh. Except that. No need to put it so bluntly, Professor McGonagall.

It wasn't that I couldn't do Potions. I just hate it.

Potions is probably one of the most useless subject invented in Hogwarts history. The teacher sucked, the textbook sucked, the topic sucked. Everything about it in general sucked. What was the whole point of chucking random herbs inside a cauldron anyway? It doesn't make sense at all. Gibberish.

Seriously, the world doesn't really care if I can make a really good Shrinking Potion? NO. Exactly.

So you see, this is why I don't ace Potions, and its no big secret,

" As you should know, your exams are coming very soon (how can it? The term just begun!). I am worried that you may not be able to cope Katie. In fact, I was rather surprise to hear that from Professor Snape. A student like you should have no problem passing Potions even if you don't have an aptitude in it."

Oh so it was that Snape who bad mouth me! That stinking ass. Wait till I get my hands on him...

" Whatever it is, Katie, both you and I know that you can do a lot better, especially since this is your NEWT year. Even if you detest it." As Professor McGonagall said that, she lifted an eyebrow at me, as if to say she knew about something. I gulped, shrinking back in my seat.

Like I told you before, me hating Potion is not exactly a big secret.

But what could I do? Here was my Head of House threatening me verbally to fall in love with the subject I hate, otherwise she would probably hex me or give me loads of detention. Neither options sounded very appealing.

But then again, I only had two choices. One, to fail Potions deliberately, and then suffer the wrath of McGonagall, my parents, Snape and every other person, all who would roast me alive of throw me off a broomstick.

Two, try to do a little better Potions, and hopefully everything will be fine. Or not.

I would pick the latter anyday.

" So do we have an understanding here, Miss Bell?" McGonagall interrupted.

I sighed. Life wasn't going to be easy.

" Yes, Professor." I said grudgingly.

" Good." She said briskly, giving a satisfied nod. " You may go."

As I left her office that night, I knew that my final year at Hogwarts, was going to be one _bloody hell. _

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**Okay first I would like to say sorry for the lack of KBOW romancing so far. **

**Then next I hope you don't find this chapter boring or uninformative or anything. While it may seem all very predictable or cliché so far I just want to say that it will get better as it goes, this is just really a start. **

**Thirdly I decided to change Oliver and Katie to be in the same year. Makes the story easier, and I can abuse my fan fic writing privilege. Muhahahahaha!**

**Last and most importantly, REVIEW! REVIEW!REVIEW!**


	2. The Pure blood Potion Princess

**Yay this is the second chapter of my story. This one is more humorous then the first... Hope you enjoy ****it!**

**This chapter is especially dedicated to Xx.just. who kindly offered to beta my story! So thanks to her, she is just so nice to do that! You can read her stories too, they are great!**

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So when the timetable came the next morning, my sixth sense told me that the day was going to suck.**

_Pity I was actually right. _

I peered down at my complicated-looking sheet of timetable and examined it. I almost wished I hadn't, because the next minute, I recoiled in horror.

Potions.

And Double Divinations.

What luck I had. Then, just when I thought the day couldn't get worse, I remembered the talk I'd with Professor McGonagall last night. The one about my Potion grades being " dismal and atrocious" (Directly quoted from McGonagall herself).

I pushed my bowl of cornflakes aside, started banging my head on the breakfast table, and groaned really really loudly. I swear I was near tears.

_Why me???_

" Going to have a good morning Katie?" Alicia asked calmly, apparently not noticing all the commotion I'd caused. Angelina was spreading strawberry jam on her toast, while Fred and George were just sniggering their freaking red heads off. Hilarious.

Did I mention before how very unsympathetic my friends are?

I snatched the knife Angelina had been using out of her hand and brandished it wildly. Do they not care that I may suffer from a breakdown anytime soon?

" Excuse me, but can my so-called best friends please try to show some concern? Apparently this school has some sort of grudge against me to give me such a schedule!" I cried out. I seriously don't care if the first years think I'm going mad. Pfff. As if the knife- brandishing hadn't confirmed that.

_Clap clap._

I think I hear applause from Angelina.

" Wonderful, Katie, wonderful. Now _stop_ being so Drama- mama and return my knife." Ange said, still clapping sarcastically.

Ha ha.

" What's wrong with your time table anyway? I don't see anything bad." Oliver decided to invite himself to the seat next to mine, and plucked the timetable out of my hand without permission. I glared at him. Cue for everybody to start shrinking in fear.

" I have Potions and Divinations! Today!" I told him angrily.

" SO? Potions is interesting!"

Yeah sure, Potions is interesting for people who passed it. Potions is fun for people like Oliver Wood, who surprisingly does well in it. I found out last night while whining to the whole common room that Oliver here averages an " Outstanding" in that stupid subject. His only "O", just had to be the bloody subject I am _struggling_ with. Yeah, sure, Potions is VERY FUN when you have people like Oliver who rub salt into your wounds.

He was definitely smirking.

" By the way, did you know that you have a streak of jam on your hair? Must be all that wild knife-waving." He added coolly.

I examined my long blond strands of hair. Oliver was right, I _did have_ sticky red jam on my hair.

He was right. But I was angry, embarrassed and emotional. You know what people like that do? Exactly what I did next.

I smashed my bowl of cornflakes on his big fat _stupid _head.

* * *

After the whole Potions-talk with Professor McGonagall, I was determined to try my best in Potions and not let anything get to me. I was going to be cool, confident, and sure of myself.

Er yes. Cool, confident...

Then as soon I stepped into the dungeons for first lesson, I realised my first mistake.

I forgot to bring my Potions textbook.

And Snape noticed my mistake too. Because he said viciously to me "Ten points from Gryffindor, Miss Bell, for not bringing all your required materials. You may borrow a copy of it temporarily for the lesson from the shelves."

After taking a battered copy of _Potions Making _from the dusty shelves, I stormed to the back of the dungeons and flung myself onto the stool beside Oliver Wood.

" Don't smirk," I told him. But he grinned evilly anyway, and I couldn't say I blamed him. After the whole cornflake fiasco, there was no doubt he was going to pay me back with tons of gloating and torture in Potions.

" Silence!" Snape spat. " This is your final and NEWT year so I expect all of you to know how to brew a basic potion."

Here, his eyes glazed upon me. I lifted my chin in defiance. I will show him I can do it!

" Now turn to page twenty one. Follow the instructions and begin."

Before I could even blink, students were already busy setting up fire and chopping ingredients. Huh. And I hadn't even open the book yet!

This class was _way _competitive. Or scared of Snape.

I think its the latter.

Reluctantly I picked up the old copy of _Potion Making_. The previous owner had scribbled all over it with really untidy handwriting, and right on the top of the book she had written _This belongs to the Pure Blood Potion Princess_. I laughed mockingly. Yeah right.

I flipped to page twenty one. Euphoria Potion.

Oh no. No no no.

It looked way, way difficult. Plus the owner had keep crossing off the instructions and writing her own notes. Irritating.

Then a thought occurred to me. What if I failed Potions? What if I couldn't scrape a decent grade for this one? McGonagall would hassle me and Snape would dock fifty points off Gryffindor. Then my parents would send me a Howler, saying how ashamed they were of ...

Breathe. Breathe, Katie, Breathe!

I squinted at the bad handwriting and tried to decipher the words. English. Okay. So far, so good.

Poor comfort, but don't discourage me.

I quickly chopped up the ingredients randomly and threw some into the cauldron. Taking a quick peek to my left I could see a Hufflepuff already stirring the potion. In front of her, some girl named Anna Williams or something had already attained a 'crystal blue' liquid.

Shit. I was_ way, way _behind, wasn't I?

That was when I made my second mistake. I accidentally added lacewing flies into my potion while I was panicking.

Shit shit! What do I do now?

I consulted the textbook. According to the proper instructions, I would have to re start, but the Pure Blood Potion Princess said its okay, I would just have to add the daisy roots in after that.

Hmm. Which set of instructions should I follow? Pick, Katie, Pick!

Just choose!

I picked the easy option. Go for danger, my mother would always say. That's the safest.

So I threw the daisy roots in.

To my surprise, the potion turned a"clear violet colour" as describe by the book. I sighed in relief. _Phew_. I was saved!

I looked at the copy of Potion Making with new found respect. It had saved my life! Heck, this Pure Blood Potion Princess was a genius! My saviour! If it hadn't been so old and dirty, I would probably have kissed and snogged it senseless!

What do I do now?

I debated to myself and bit my lip. Follow the hard way, or do the unorthodox shortcut?

But if she was right once, chances were she would be right again... Right?

Right.

_Three, stir anticlockwise._

So I stirred the whole thing anticlockwise.

And the whole potion turned a violent shade of orange, like it should have.

But was it supposed to hiss like that? Wait, why is the whole thing bubbling?

_Why on earth is that happening?_

" Kates, what the hell are you doing!" Oliver cried out beside me. Both of us watched the madly bubbling potion with amazement and fascination. Then the whole cauldron spurted at us.

I did what came to my mind immediately: Duck behind Oliver Wood. And to complete it, he jumped in front of me too.

As Oliver got drenched by my potion and purple swelling started manifesting on his face, I realised my third mistake.

_Listening to the Pure Blood Potion Princess. _

_

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_

" I'm sorry Oliver."

" You should be."

" I said I'm sorry!" I repeated slightly hysterically, feeling really guilty. After all, it was really my fault that Oliver landed up in Hospital Wing.

Lucky Madam Pomfrey was able to fix it in a jiffy. He just had to wear some bandage for the rest of the day.

" I got a detention I don't deserve thanks to you!"

" For the millionth time, I apologise!"

I shot him a wounded look and glanced at him dolefully. He sighed, as if resigning to fate.

Let me explain. Two seconds after the whole Potions disaster happened Snape snarled at us to go to the Hospital Wing and then cruelly informed us that for not following instructions, we both were to receive detentions with him that Friday night. He then shot us a glare so menacing neither of us dared to object.

So yeah, detention with Snape.

" How the hell did your potion explode anyway?" Oliver asked me. I squirmed slightly.

" Katie?" He repeated when I did not reply.

" Well, the previous owner of my textbook called the Pure Blood Potion Princess made a slight few amendments to the instructions on it and it looked easier. So I kind of... decided to follow her instructions instead." I said, wincing.

Oliver just looked at me in disbelief.

" Pure Blood Potion Princess?"

" Yeah." I said slowly

" You trust someone who calls herself _the Pure Blood Potion Princess???_"

Thinking back, that was a really stupid thing to do.

" Kind of..."

" Seriously. _The Pure Blood Potion Princess?_" He asked incredulously.

" Hey! I was desperate! Okay?" I cried out indignantly. That part was true.

I mean, you_ must _consider the entire circumstances. I was young, innocent and being threatened by our Head to like Potions. Then Snape makes me act like a nervous wreck. I added the wrong ingredient! What was I supposed to do?

" You do know you owe me one." Oliver finally muttered to me

I beamed. Oliver had forgiven me! Thank Merlin!

" Thanks Oliver!" I squealed, jumping on him and hugging him, patting him lightly on his cheek before leaving behind a very bewildered Oliver Wood in the Hospital Wing.

* * *

" That was so romantic!" Alicia sighed dreamily.

I was in Divinations with Alicia and Angelina, trying to read each other's fortune through playing cards. The only thing we done so far was to sigh over how heroic the brave Oliver Wood was to jump in front of me during Potions, saving me from the many rolls of bandages.

Correction: The only thing Alicia and Angelina had done so far was to sigh over how heroic the brave Oliver Wood was to have jumped in front of me during Potions.

" Yes it was," agreed Angelina.

" No it wasn't! Besides, I ducked behind him too! He was just being nice because that's the way Oliver is!" I retorted angrily, half shuffling the cards, half enviously staring at Alicia's hair.

_Lucky_ Alicia. She had such pretty brown hair. And Angelina's was black!

But of all the colours my hair had to be? It had to be blond. And Hogwarts somehow have very few people with golden hair. For some very strange reason.

Yes, my hair was nice, and silky and long. But being blond also meant that I was prone to hearing a lot of dumb blond jokes that Fred and George inflicted me with.

_Why aren't there any dumb red head jokes? _

" Katie! Our captain saved you from the fate of having ugly purplish swells! Not everyone will do that for you!" Alicia said. She's ever the romantic fart.

" Yeah, you just said the key phrase. _He's our captain_. He was probably afraid that an injured chaser would hurt his chances of winning the cup." I told her, rolling my eyes.

" Katie-"

" I hope he doesn't plot any revenge." I interrupted. "That was some of the nastiest and ugliest blotches I ever seen on his face. Bet he's gonna make me have extra practices." I added gloomily, dealing the cards.

Remember in the morning I'd had this sixth sense this day woukd go all wrong? And that Potions would be a disaster? And how I knew all these would happen?

Because for some very strange bizarre reason, I seem to have a certain flair in Divinations. Don't get me wrong. I hate the old bat Trelawny and the subject, and I usually just rubbish my way through the lessons. But Professor Trelawny here seems to think that I may have the inner eye. So now, thanks to all my last minute crapping, I happen to be the seventh year's_ top Divination student._

It makes sense though. With my whole sixth sense thing. Let's just hope the whole Oliver-extra-practice was just a figment of my imagination. Pray hard.

" Have you ever considered the fact that Oliver may _like_ you?" Alicia asked, her eyes gleaming. I could see her trying hard to suppress her excitement.

I burst into laughter. No. Freaking. Way! Our deranged, insane, obsessed captain liking me? Come on. We argue twenty-four seven!

Hmmm. Let me try to picture it: Oliver trying to senerade a girl, on his knees, playing the guitar...

Crooning the Scottish Quidditch Team Anthem.

I burst into laughter again. Sorry. I can't.

" Maybe you are just trying hard not to see it Katie." Angelina commented wisely .

" Yeah, just like Alicia here is trying hard to deny something is going on with her and George." I said breezily.

Alicia glared at me.

" Any luck girls?" came a voice. Professor Trelawny was eyeing us with her hugely magnified eyes. Whoa. Talk about scary.

" Yes," I said, smirking. " Alicia Spinnet here will fall in love with a certain red head of the same age and will eventually marry someone with the initials G.W and give birth to a pair of_ twins_."

Needless to say Spinnet did not look the least bit amused. But Trelawny (unexpectedly) looked at the cards and gaped. " Correct, Katie. Absolutely Correct! You _really _must possess the inner eye!"

I just laughed while Alicia turned red.

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**What did you think of this chapter? I thinks its better, what do you think? I would to hear some views from you guys... So all of you must REVIEW!!! Do I have to spell that out? R-E-V-I-E-W!!!!!!!!**

**So thanks to Xx.just. once more... Yay to her! **

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	3. Attack of the Blondes

**Okay I am so super sorry for the lack of update in this story, but don't worry, it's still on. I promised you guys on my profile I will have a story out this week, and I do now. **

**I highly suggest you guys start rereading this story because most of you may have forgotten what had happen. **

**So the story must go on.**

**

* * *

Chapter Three.**

Sometimes even I marvel at the fact that all I have to do is pile of whole lot of crap and still breeze through Divinations. Totally useless subject, but it has its _moment_s.

Like the golden Alicia Spinnet one I experienced just second ago. Totally c_lassic_.

But then there are times my so-called clairvoyant skills start to malfunction. However, this may be attributed to the fact that I was laughing to hard at this whole Alicia thing that I temporarily lost my senses. Because if I was sensible enough, I would have tried to _read _the playing cards I dealt for myself. Then I would have foreseen the impending disaster written in the stars when I try to interpret it. But no, I the tear glistening in my eyes blurred my vision so much that I chose to ignore the crisis written in my future.

" Come on. Let's go," I told Angelina when the lesson ended, the tears still running down my cheeks as we exited the trapdoor of the musty classroom. Alicia followed us huffily.

I'm only telling you this because this is a mistake I'm going to regret really really bad. Because if I had turned around, I would have noticed the cards I have gotten.

A queen in between a pair of red-coloured_ jokers_.

I guess the colour of the jokers should have given the whole thing away, if the jokers part haven't.

_Weasleys._

_

* * *

Two very heavy hands thumped onto my back as I walked to my next class._

Really, does everyone have to have super-human strength? The weight was killing me. I turned back to find myself glaring at two red-headed, freckly Weasleys grinning maliciously at me.

Those two _jokers_.

" What!" I said irritably. It seriously hurts when someone hits you from the back, I can tell you _that much!_ Let alone strong people who also happen to be_ violent _Beaters.

Clue: Beaters.

" We got a question," George said breathlessly. At least, I think its George. He's the one with red hair right?

Wait, Fred has red hair too. Never mind.

I raised my eyebrows. This was getting suspicious.

" Yes?" I asked cautiously. No question that spewed out of his foul mouth resembled anything near decent.

" _What do you call a blond skeleton in the closet?" _

My eyes narrowed. I should have seen this coming, them and their _stupid blond jokes_.

" I don't want to-" I began but was quickly interrupted by the guffaws of those bloody jokers.

" Last year's hide-and-seek champion!" They chorused before laughing again.

Har Har. This is so _not funny_.

Especially if they are making fun of me. Blond jokes parade again, huh?

" Look you guys better-" I started but of course Fred ( or George) just have to cut in.

" How about this one?" He said quickly, and didn't wait for my reply before going on " A blonde, a brunette and a redhead were sharing box of Bertie's Botts Every Flavour Beans. They ate all until there was only one left. It was brownish-yellow, and they were trying to guess what flavour it was. The brunette picked it up, examined it and said, " I think its earwax." The redhead took it and sniffed it expertly, and claimed " It smells like earwax." The blonde just took it and _ate_ it before declaring " It is earwax!" "

The twins were now collapsing on the ground and choking with laughter.

Why do they keep picking on me anyway? Did I miss the flyer that says 'Pick on Katie' Day? They must have ran out by the time I reached the Common Room.

I hope those sodding twins will suffocate from their laughter (is that medically possible? Note to self: Check with Madam Pomfrey. I happen to know that the twins will make _medical history_ if it never happened before.)

" Hey! Just because I am blond doesn't mean I can't be smart."I cried out, seriously annoyed. "If you guys don't remember, I happen to be one of the top students here." I lifted my chin proudly.

So there!

" Yeah, but do all top students sent their captains to the Hospital Wing?"

_That was a low blow, Weasley. _

" It's not my fault!" I argued, but word failed me as I realised that it was indeed _my_ fault and I had nothing to defend myself with.

One of my blond moments, sorry.

Did I just admit the whole blonde thing?

" Guess why the blonde went to the Hospital Wing the day before the Quidditch tryouts?" George quipped up. " Because she heard that you needed to be able to fly to get in!Get it? Fly? Wing?"

Okay, this is _so not_ the best day.

* * *

They are still at it.

Three hour and they are still at it.

Three bloody sodding hours and they are still at it!

" Why are blondes afraid of flying? Because they can't find their way back to the ground!"

" Which Quidditch team was the blond player in? She can't remember because she got hit by a bludger!"

"Which Quidditch team was the blond player in before she got hit by a bludger? She can't remember!"

Compliments of Fred, by the way.

" Hey Katie! Did you hear about the one where the blonde couldn't tell that Snape's hair was naturally greasy so she went and ask him for his hair-oil recipe?" George roared to me in the hallway.

... I actually did that once.

Hey I was a first year then! How could I possibly know!

They may have a point, I admit, but this was no reason to pick on blondes!

Specifically, me.

" How do you tell the difference between a real blonde and a fake blonde? You ask them for their names and see which one can actually remember!" George laughed, catching the attention of the entire student population.

I will dismember them personally the minute the portraits in the hallway stop laughing at that joke.

* * *

I can't believe it.

They are still at it, and its already _Quidditch practice._

As if it wasn't bad enough that Fred and George (my supposed friends, but I will deny it if anyone asked ) has been telling me ridiculous dumb blonde jokes every minute they see me. As if it wasn't bad enough the whole Hogwarts student population found it hilarious and laughed. As if it wasn't bad enough that they too took a stab at my hair colour.

No, the whole blonde thing had to be infectious. I overheard Professor Flitwick telling Professor Sprout sharing one about the blonde, the hag and a drunk bunch of laid elves over their dinner plates just now.

I totally blame both Fred and George. The culprits.

And its really horrible to think about those stupid Blonde Quidditch jokes when you are sitting on a broom. Imagine yourself hanging in mid air trying to swerve and then some stupid mental image of a blonde trying to fly before realising she wasn't on her broom pops up into your head (this was their last joke by the way). See if you wouldn't look down to check that you are sitting on your Comet after that.

That was I told Oliver, but he wouldn't believe me.

" BELL! For the fifth time, stop looking down at your bloody arse! It's still on the broom OKAY?! Pay attention to the game!" Wood bellowed at me again. Oops. I quickly looked up from my rear.

I could hear the twins sniggering in the background.

Whatever, Wood. You are not the victim of the many lame blonde jokes today. You are not blond, so you wouldn't know how it feels. You are not the butt of the joke. Speaking of butt, I better...

"BELL! I SAID, STOP LOOKING!"

Oliver was totally _unsympathetic_ to my plight of course. In fact, he seemed to think that it is totally hilarious, which of course, was not. Not once did it crossed his mind that this whole blonde thing could cause psychological and emotional damage to his best chaser, or that perhaps this would result in further dire consequences. What if I was so badly hurt that it cause me to lose the game? Then he will never win the cup!

Not once, did all these cross his mind. To think I was his friend, his chaser, his team mate, his partner, his classmate, his neighbour...

Just wait Oliver, just wait.

I was attempting to score pass Oliver, just to prove that I was still in top condition. I swerve passed Angelina, got within goal-scoring area and I tried to decide which hoop I should aim for.

Left, or right? Hmm.

Oliver chuckled. " Why, Katie? Another blonde moment trying to figure which side to throw?"

I glared at Wood, and I could feel the heat rising to my face. Funny, huh?

I will show him. And you know why I will show him? Because I'm angry, and that is what angry chasers too. I will shoot this bloody Quaffle throw the hoop...

Or maybe not.

So I shot the Quaffle right at his head with all the might I could with my left hand, and my aim was true. I pumped my fist up in triumph, full of glee. However, through all my happiness and celebrating whoops, I couldn't help but wonder one thing:

What was that _crack_ sound?

* * *

" I'm sorry."

" You should bloody well _be._"

" I said I'm sorry!" I cried out more hysterically, wincing guiltily at the sign of all those thick bandages wrapping around his head and arms.

For the second time that day I somehow managed to land Oliver in the Hospital Wing. _Again_. This time he sustained more serious injuries than the previous Potions incident, and from the way Madam Pomfrey goes on about his bones, I'm guessing there's a chance he's not going to recover as quickly.

Plus the fact that she just informed me that he will have to stay here for the night.

" This is getting too familiar don't you think?" Oliver said angrily, looking accusingly at me. He was now lying pathetically on those hospital cots, oozing yellow pus and and fresh blood through his wounds and thick bandages, and if anything, looking murderous.

Somehow I don't think he will be as forgiving as before.

In my defence, how was I too know that my aim would be that good? Or that I used so much force that I knocked him off his broom? Come on, Oliver can't be that weak.

In fact, he should be thanking me. While all the rest of the team member gawked at the sight of their burly captain pelting down to the pitch (I'm not sure if they didn't help on purpose), only I had the sense to actually do something. Only_ I _had the amazing sense to whip out my wand and transfigure part of the ground to a soft landing. So I practically saved his life.

" And you thought landing me on a mattress filled with cotton and thistles would HELP me?" He asked sarcastically, while tightening his bandages of the wound. Those that Madam Pomfrey managed to take the thorns out from anyway.

Okay, so there was a slight mistake... but still!

" Look, when you see somebody falling off the broom in a life and death situation, I'm telling you that You can't think straight!"

Which was true.

" Do you know the only redeeming thing I can take comfort in is that I won't land in the Wing for the third time today? And that's only because I HAVE TO STAY HERE FOR THE NIGHT??" Oliver yelled. Several of the Quidditch magazine fell off the table.

" Hey!" I said resentfully." If you guys didn't start all those blonde jokes this wouldn't have happened!"

" Sheesh, like I knew you would be so sensitive about your hair colour!" Oliver muttered, fingering those lame stupid pyjamas the Hospital Wing makes you wear.

Yeah, the one with pink polka- dots.

" Of course I am! No one goes around attacking my brain and my hair!" I retorted, folding my arms across my chest.

" And now I have to wear this freaking pyjamas." He said in dismay, casting an eye on those hideously embarrassing rags.

" Er..."

" I have to wear this_ freaking _pyjamas." He repeated.

" You already said that."

" I HAVE TO WEAR THIS PYJAMAS THANKS TO YOU AND I LOOK GOD DAMN GAY IN IT!"

" I said I'm sorry already!" I cried, trying to shush Oliver up before he could make anymore gay comments. The whole Hospital Wing was looking at him, and Ernie MacMillian over there looked highly offended, as if he really liked the pyjamas.

I always knew there was _something gay_ about Ernie.

But to be totally honest, Oliver did look gay in it.

" Anyway what's wrong with looking gay? You _are_ gay." I continued, trying to add humour to the situation.

One look from Oliver makes me shut up.

" I'm not gay."

" I know I was just jesting-"

"I'm not gay!"

" I kn-"

" I"M NOT GAY!"

Okay now the whole Hospital Wing was _really_ looking at us.

" Yeah yeah I know you are not okay! I was just kidding! Must you have such a violent reaction? I said I'm sorry okay! I promise to work harder in Quidditch next time!" I said desperately.

That seems to calm Wood down. He seems to be considering. Ah, the wonders of Quidditch.

" Okay then. I guess you are forgiven. And I'm not gay." He said slowly.

" Really?" I squealed. I finally managed to pacify Oliver! What a relief!

Talk about _mood swings_. But hey, I'm not complaining.

" Yes,_ really_. Now sit down Katie. I'm gonna get real bored here so you might as well entertain me." Oliver chuckled, the frown finally leaving his scrounged up features.

" Sure!" I replied happily. Standing for so long while listening to Wood was very tiring for my legs. So I flounced myself onto the hospital bed where Wood's feet were and sat down straight._ Wow_, I thought. _Since when the Hospital Beds so hard? _

And why do I hear _another _crack?

One look on Wood's face and I realised that I just landed and broke Oliver's leg.

_Oops. _

_

* * *

**I know this chapter is not brilliant or anything, but trust me, it's gonna get better.**_

**This story is strictly not meant to offend any blondes out there, so apologies in advance to whoever with a blond head is fuming right now. And some of the jokes are those I heard my friend telling, not my own.**

**And as usual you guys are going to be my lovely reviewers and REVIEW right? PS I'm not giving you a choice!**


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